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Psyche Revived | 2013


Mom?

Mom?

Mom.

Mother.

Mother, you shouldn’t sleep here. You’ll regret it in the morning. Wake up, go upstairs, put on your pajamas, and sleep in your bed like an adult. Your shows are over. You weren’t even watching them. If you want to leave him, just leave him. But please don’t sleep on the couch. Let me help you. Please don’t sleep on the couch. If you want to leave, leave.

Your neck. Your back. You’re not a teenager. You’re not in high school. You’re not a little girl. You’re not taking chances. You’re not putting yourself at risk. You’re not thinking of your future. Your hips. Your ass. You’re not done living. You’re not your mother. One drink won’t kill you. Let me help you. No one is watching and no one cares. One drink won’t kill you.

Get up. Come on, get up. Stand up and walk on your own two feet. I’ve got the shower running. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Stand up and walk. You’re not a little girl. People are relying on you. In the morning you’re going to hurt like hell. You’ll be fine. You don’t know what you’re saying. You won’t remember this. One drink won’t kill you. I know. No you don’t. You’re a mess. Look at you. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine. Just let me sleep.

One drink won’t kill you. Is this a problem? Is this something we need to talk about? Is this something I need to tell someone about? What are we doing here? Do you have this under control? Are you in meetings? Is that a thing people do now? Should I be worried? Is it genetic? You would tell me, wouldn’t you? Tell you what? Tell me what I need to know. Give me a list. Heart disease, lung cancer, Down Syndrome, dyslexia, homosexuality, narcissism, trouble sleeping, incontinence, pride, greed, anger management issues, libertarianism, eczema, fetal alcohol syndrome, vanity, rheumatoid arthritis, myopia. There’s no time for losers ‘cause we are the champions of the world.

Let me sleep. I’m tired. I’ve had a long day. We’ll talk about it in the morning. There’s nothing to worry about. Your father wasn’t around then. It was just us. Your grandmother wouldn’t have approved. We did the best we could with what we had. It’s not so simple. I love you. What’s gotten into you? Nothing, this is just how I am. How I’ve always been. Who I vote for is my business. That’s just how it is around here. That’s how it’s always been. So leave then. It’s that simple. It’s not that simple.

You look just like your father. We were young. But it wasn’t that. You’re grandmother didn’t approve. She told me it was my decision. I’m so proud of you. How did you get so smart? Don’t be cute. Don’t be simple. Don’t be sad. Don’t be simple. One drink won’t kill you. It killed him, didn’t it? Did it? If he’s dead, it did. I wouldn’t know. Don’t be cute. Don’t be smart with me. This is what I want. I am happy and this is what I want. To be here in this place with these people and this past. This is the way I like it to be. Do you promise? I promise. Are you lying? We can’t all be you. Do you want me to leave you here? Yes. Do you want me to leave you to sleep in your shoes? Yes. To wake up without having brushed your teeth? Your neck. Your back. You aren’t getting any younger. Don’t be cute. You aren’t getting any older.